2021–but more specifically, the month of May—has been a rough one for me. Today I had a breakdown and cried sporadically throughout the day. This isn’t a cry for help and I don’t respond well to sympathy. This is me handling kuleana I have to myself and showing you that if you’re going through some hard shit right now, only YOU can get YOU out of your bed and back into life.
While I wouldn’t actually do it, I thought about ending my life twice today. I feel exhausted and sick of this bullshit right now. I hate people that I should be loving because it feels like they are slapping me in the face with choices they make that affects me—even if it’s unintentional.
What I’ve learned so far is to stop expecting me from others and to not pour into people until they’ve earned it. Hard pill to swallow but at least I’m finding out who I vibe with. Just keep doing you even if you start crying out of no where. Time heals.